Young people lament downside of digital age

Dear Readers: What bugs you most about the world? How would you make the world better? Every winter, I pose these questions to the panel. This year, technology took a bruising.

Real relationships, thinking deeply, embracing boredom and lamenting the demise of "face-to-face" interactions were top concerns for so many panelists that I devoted all of today's column to this theme.

Parents: As much as young people appear to love their texts, posts, tweets, games, movies and pornography (though I doubt you hear much about the latter), they also feel caught in its web and need help managing the medium — whether they say so or not. Here's to a healthier new year! — Lauren

Sarah, 20, San Jose: I wish people would wake up to technology's negative impact and reduce their dependence on it. Our phones never leave our hands. Texting and Facebook are preferred over face-to-face conversations. Playing "Angry Birds" is more interesting than people watching. Nobody even stops for directions anymore — your phone tells you where to go.

Instant gratification makes us impatient and demanding. We feel bored without constant entertainment. On Facebook, inflammatory remarks about others' religion, ethnicity or morals are common fare, and people word their statuses and post photos to make their lives appear more exciting than everyone else's. Attracting attention is competitive and taken to an extreme.

Nate, 17, Toledo, Ohio: I believe technology is making students lazier. Easy access to information is hindering research and thinking abilities. Laptops and iPads in classrooms are more burden than benefit. They not only give access to information without having to think, but to games and social networking as well. Let's challenge our students to think deeply — not add more distractions.

McKenna, 24, Redding: The mainstreaming of pornography has instilled a false standard of beauty and has altered guys' expectations of healthy sexual relationships. The industry is saturated with bleached-blond, fake-boobed, porn-industry-standard women portrayed in unhealthy, submissive and degrading roles.

Lennon, 24, Fair Oaks: The biggest problem for me is the abstract collapse of time and space to the point where we want everything, preferably, five minutes ago. We've hampered our ability to pay attention to the present.

Life will go on whether you're attentive to your immediate surroundings or those miles away, but we would all be happier if we put our attention in the here and now.

Also, if you slow down, life will slow down. Let yourself be bored. Relish each undistracted second. Often, those are the periods of epiphany.

Christina, 20, Marysville: What supremely bugs me is when friends text me when they are upset rather than phoning or meeting in person. I can't infer tone or facial expressions from a text, so I either take their communication too hard or underestimate its seriousness. Issues are settled so much better when people talk face to face.

Brady, 24, Redding: Overuse of social media has caused us to lose touch with basic human experiences. Face-to-face introductions have been replaced by a self-indulgent Twitter hashtag/Facebook frenzy. The nervous initial conversation with a new crush, its nuances, body language and self-awareness are all but lost over the Internet. Facebook has become a marketing platform, mostly to market ourselves. I prefer real people, not the 140-character condensed version or the carefully constructed "profile" of how cool you are.

Matt, 17, Villa Park: There are 308 million people in our country. Imagine the impact if only 50 percent performed random acts of kindness. Opening a door, putting money in a homeless person's hand, letting someone in line go first. Little gestures make a big difference. Smiles are free, and everyone feels happier when they receive one. Yet, ironically, few people smile in public. Let your light shine and be the change.

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Who would have thought the world would change on a dime? The digital age, bringing us social networking and private access to pornography, has made the pastimes of most Americans today unfathomable just 10 years ago.

While many people are immersed in total oblivion, the comments in today's column indicate dissatisfaction with the sticky web that has been woven. I always appeal to parents to help their young find freedom from technology. Nobody under 14 needs a smartphone, tablet, computer or a diet of TV, video games and movies.

Computer literacy and popular culture can be learned with ease starting in high school, thus giving the child a real chance at childhood — not to mention a point of reference that can save an adult when their own childhood innocence is sought.

The gifts of being in nature, of writing by hand, of time spent in boredom, imaginary play or uninterrupted thought are priceless. The window of opportunity for these things is the early years. For families who don't (or didn't) follow this philosophy, children and teens still need and want strict limits on screen time. They'll be happier and healthier for it. Please be the authority figure on this, even if they're not asking for it or if they complain. — Lauren

Lauren Forcella co-writes Straight Talk TNT with a panel of 30 teens and young adults. To ask a question or become a panelist, click StraightTalkTNT.com or write to P.O. Box 963, Fair Oaks, CA 95628.