The best party favors are to stay sober, keep each other safe

Dear Straight Talk: I attend high school parties but don't usually drink or use drugs. Recently, a girl chugged vodka. Everyone was drinking except me, so nobody thought much of it. After 10 minutes, her limbs went limp and she couldn't walk, yet she was still conscious, saying to leave her alone so she could sleep.

I put her on her side so she wouldn't suffocate on her own vomit and watched over her. I was the only one paying attention. The next day, she didn't remember anything.

I get scared at parties when people chug and go limp. I don't know whether I should take them to the ER or not. It's not the first time this has happened. What should I do? — Sober DD

Brie, 20, Santa Barbara: If someone is "sleeping it off," shaking them will make them move, grunt, wake up, complain, etc. They will also have regular breathing. But if you shake them and they don't move, don't make noises or their breathing is weak or irregular, they need medical attention immediately!

I've been at many parties where someone is throwing up. I position them so they won't choke and check on them periodically. Being a good Samaritan is wonderful, but ultimately, you are not responsible for those who choose to get drunk.

Jessie, 19, Eugene, Ore.: Alcohol poisoning (or getting raped while unconscious, as in last week's column) are scenarios every girl who parties fears. Personal rules: I always party with friends who watch out for me — like I watch out for them.

I set a cutoff number on drinks and always make my own drink (holding it continuously), so nobody can slip me a predatory drug. I set a time to go home and have a transportation plan. If I'm going to drink, I avoid parties where I don't know or trust most of the people.

Gregg, 20, Los Angeles: At a party recently, one guy got so drunk that he puked uncontrollably for three hours. We propped him up in the tub and watched over him continuously. The only reason we didn't take him to the ER was because we were afraid of the bill. Now I realize we are lucky he didn't die.

Another time, a friend everyone knew since grade school was left unattended after passing out, not propped on her side or anything. I came into the room and she was choking on her vomit. Never drag someone into another room! Not only can't you attend to them, but they could they be raped (I met a guy who bragged about it, so I know it happens).

Dear Sober DD: Does anyone need more reasons to stop drinking? Bless you for staying sober and being a good Samaritan. Knowing what to do in times of trouble often prompts one to avoid that trouble.

That said, Dear Readers, here is how to help a drunk friend. Wishing you a safe, sober and joyous holiday.

What to do

If someone is limp, passed out or puking:

• Continually monitor them — stay with them always.

• Keep them sitting up or lying on their side so they don't choke on vomit.

• Wake them often to make sure they are able to wake up.

• Check for weak or irregular breathing.

What not to do

• Put a drunk in charge of them.

• Put them in a room alone.

• Put them in a cold shower (the shock can cause unconsciousness).

• Exercise them.

• Give food, liquids, medicine or other drugs to sober them.

• Worry about the ER bill.

Emergency signs

These can mean death is imminent. Call 911 immediately!

• Cold, clammy, pale or bluish skin.

• Can't be awakened.

• Slow or irregular breathing.

• Puking repeatedly or uncontrollably.

• Choking.

• Suspicion of drugs mixed with alcohol.

I have it on solid teenage authority that kids drink and use drugs for two reasons: One, they are depressed about some aspect of their life. Two, they need help loosening up around the opposite sex.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone looked their problems in the eye and asked for help instead of drowning them with intoxicants? And wouldn't it be nice if people faced the awkwardness of socializing and romance without chemical assistance? What if people learned to laugh, dance, ask for help, be silly or in love without drugs or alcohol? We did as children. Then what happened?

Here's a New Year's resolution idea: Reject the notion that growing up means you have to use drugs and alcohol to be yourself or have a good time. Remember how you felt as a child. Retrain yourself to bring that freedom from drugs into adulthood.

For party-goers, here's a senior project idea: Attend a series of parties clean and sober and write about the experience.

Happy holidays, dear friends and readers. Take care of yourselves and others. — Lauren

Lauren Forcella co-writes Straight Talk TNT with a panel of 30 teens and young adults. To ask a question or become a panelist, click StraightTalkTNT.com or write to P.O. Box 963, Fair Oaks, CA 95628.